She was born in the 80s. She still uses her phone as a phone

Stop saying I’m different!

I’m gonna be sophisticated and have no job. Or a job that looks from a distance like I do nothing

yea…I’m funny

I’ve given this a lot of thought and I’ve decided we should sleep on it

He seduced me with his dark, Chinese powers

That dude is crazy. He told me girls have 2 pee holes

I don’t understand any of these puns. I think I need to learn history

Don’t worry, we have all of the proper permits. O silly me this is a coupon for 20% off at Bed Bath & Beyond

I don’t know what to do. My whole brain is crying

Hello during a random dessert. The month and day of which coincide numerically with your expulsion from the uterus

et tu brute? Am I using that right?!

How about I pound you like a boy!…That didn’t come out right

magical elf-like man who makes us all magical by being near us