I’m so sorry, I really messed up

I love being a father but there are a few things I miss. Silence. The absence of noise. One single moment undisturbed by the sounds of a children’s tv program called Doc McStuffin

You shut your face! If we want to hear you talk, I will shove my arm up your ass and work your mouth like a puppet

Dylan, Dylan, the time has come for us to say goodbye

冇冇冇冇冇唔關係我行過

Thank you, I’m so excited

(DJ Airhorn sound effect)

How you doin

You hear that speech? That’s some Oscar shit right there. That was nice. You rehearse that?

He’s like a skinny little rubberband that’s about to snap in half

Bang bang bangity bang bang bang bangity bang

(Is this true?) Yes…It’s true. This man has no dick

Shit just got real

I’m elated that you are my lady

Alright alright alright…fire ’em UPPP!